The Elephant in My Esophagus

One of my favorite childhood books was But No Elephants. It's a story about Grandma Tildy letting an elephant into her house--but he's so big that he inadvertently causes quite a few problems. It's a really cute story.

So, tonight I decided to write my own children's story about elephants. It is based on events that have transpired during the last 24 hours and is entitled The Elephant in My Esophagus. If anyone would like to illustrate my little story, I'm sure it would be a big hit.

Here goes:

Last night as I drifted off to sleep,
Into my throat did a strange something creep.
I ran to the bathroom as quick as a squirrel,
Fearful that I was about to hurl.
Nothing came out, so I drank some water,
But that strange something started feeling hotter.
There was a cold burning in my chest,
And nothing, it seemed, could quell the unrest.
"Oh no!" I thought, "No, no, no, please, . . .
Not the dreaded Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease!"
But the symptoms for GERD weren't quite right,
So as I tossed and turned all through the night,
I tried to figure out what it could be
That was, along with the really bad cold I already had, plaguing me.
When I got up in the morning I felt really terrible,
And knew that church would not be bearable.
So I stayed in my pajamas and went back to bed,
Hoping the strange something didn't spread.
Later in the morning I got online,
A name for my ailment I was trying to find.
After searching and searching to no avail,
The answer hit me like an Orca whale:
Though it may sound kind of preposterous,
I think there's an elephant in my esophagus!

What do you think? Is it a winner of a bedtime story? :-) Maybe not so much. But it does accurately convey the adventures of the last 24 hours. I really don't know what my problem is--I have these acid reflux-like episodes every now and then. My last one was on July 10 of this year, but before that it hadn't happened for about nine months. The burning sensation went away during the day, but it still kind of feels like there's something (like an elephant) camping out in my throat and chest. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight and the strange something will be gone in the morning.